It seems like I get a phone call or an email almost every week from someone who is experiencing an issue with a friend. People change friends more than they change clothes. I love change but a friend worth having is a friend worth keeping.
I really want all of you to have a better future in this area of your life so today I want to share 10 reasons why you may not have any friends:
1) You are not self aware – More than likely, no one is going to walk up and tell you this but negativity, pessimism, and a complaining spirit is like having bad body odor. People just don’t want to be around those traits. Many times we are the problem and don’t even realize it.
2) You are a taker instead of a giver – Your friend should not always be the one who has to call and text. Your friend shouldn’t have to always arrange the hangouts. Your friend shouldn’t always be the one who buys the meals. Do you always ask your friend to help you with tasks and then never come through when they are in need? That’s not friendship, it is using someone for your own gain.
3) You don’t care about your friend’s stories – I love talking to my friend in Washington State. I love to hear what projects he is working on and what he is doing. He loves listening to what is going on in my ministry. How do your conversations typically go? Are they all about you? Your problems? Your woes? The fun things happening in your life? Are your stories always better?
4) You hang out with your friend all of the time – The old saying goes…familiarity breeds contempt. God gives us families for a reason. It’s easy to get so tied up with friends that we shove our own family to the side. That’s not good. There can be too much of a good thing.
5) You are too busy – Friendships are an investment of time. You have to put forth effort to create a friendship that will last.
6) You are constantly hurt or offended – This isn’t good. We are all flawed and we are all going to make mistakes. Forgive quickly and move on. Don’t get upset every time your friend cannot call or hangout with you. It doesn’t always mean that something is wrong. Sometimes they may just have a ton of things going on.
7) You are jealous and possessive over your friend – I had a girlfriend like this one time and it drove me nuts. That’s just not going to work. If seeing your friend talk to someone else hurts you than you have a serious problem. If you don’t want your friend to have other friends, well…that’s just messed up. It’s not normal. It’s probably better to have more than just one friend. Jealousy is in your own heart and it will keep ruining friendships for the rest of your life.
8) You don’t deal with friendship issues – Something happens and instead of talking about the “elephant in the room” you just move on as if nothing ever happened. If you value the friendship then that’s probably not a good idea. Yes, don’t get hurt over every little thing, but if it is something really big then you need to have a conversation. Deal with issues quickly before they become weird. Make sure you know what is true. Get all the facts. Listen. Understand. Take deep breathes. Forgive. Move forward.
9) You gossip and complain about your friend – How has that been working out for you? It’s a change that we all should make if we want to keep friends.
10) You don’t include your friend on your spiritual journey – I think the best friendships are the ones where friends grow together in their relationship with Christ. In the end, it’s all about Him.
What positive changes do you need to make in your friendships? What are you waiting for?
Click here to listen to this week’s message. I think it would really help you in your friendships and family dynamics.
Click here for online giving.